The 5 Gear Theory
The 5 Gear Theory is a model to help people understand each other’s arousal and preferences throughout sex. It was originally developed by Brian and Emily McCarthy in 2003 as a structured script to give couples a shared language of arousal and intimacy. As sexologists, we use a varied version of the metaphor to help clients understand how sex is not only affection and penetration, but a movement up and down throughout various activities and phases that all bring pleasure.
Play and Pleasure in Psychosexual Therapy
Sex is often perceived as a high-pressure activity. Many people feel weighed down by expectations of “performing well,” which can create anxiety and even take away from intimacy. When therapy enters the picture the seriousness can intensify. With homework, readings, and weekly check-ins, sex may begin to feel more like schoolwork than a source of connection and joy.
This is where Play comes in…
A Common Tale: Understanding Responsive Desire
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “Wow, that was great—why don’t I do that more often?” after sex… only to roll your eyes at the idea the next time it crosses your mind?
If so, you’re not alone.
In this blog post, I explore what is meant by the term ‘responsive desire’ and how we can use this to improve our sexual wellbeing.
How can we have more 'Feminist Sex'?
Feminist movements have reshaped our world, yet in our sex lives, patriarchal conditioning still holds strong. Instead of enjoying our desires freely, we often worry about body image and meeting others' expectations. Feminist sex is about breaking these pressures, finding joy in our bodies, and experiencing sex as an expression of our true desires—not those imposed on us